I've been talking/ranting a lot at and to different people recently.

On the one side there are the people I consider to be really good artists with something to say (you know who you are) and we tend to get together and question why so many page views = so little comments or why so many people with 2-5 deviations of no quality have 10 billion comments/page views and favourties.

On the other side I've started hiding in the shout box and springing out on people who come in and ask "hey, look at my stuff!" Fair enough, I used to do that. But what I do is ask them why? The response is usually for them to ignore me and go to never return. So I then go and ask them on their home page...what else can you do?

Well, I did make a deviation of one of my more attractive ex girlfriends. I just colourised her green in paint shop pro, like so many "great" artists do on DA. My theory was that this picture would draw more attention than my other pieces. Did it work? Well, in 2 days I had 6 views but no comments...I reckon people were too scared to comment after reading my description about shallow people

I guess at the end of the day it's personal opinion who you comment on, who you visit and who you like. I visit interesting looking people and comment on things I can give constructive critisism about. If I don't like something and can't give any good as well as bad comments I don't comment (people get pissy if you just say bad stuff). So maybe it's the same with my page? People see my stuff and think it shit?

But well, I have bigger problems...none of which I can ever post on here incase the people involved look me up! Shit happens huh?

Well, what can I say. The weather sux, uni was ok until someone screwed me over and so I haven't got any photography done. But I will. Today maybe. I do have a nice poem about the person who screwed me over, just need to touch it up. My first piece of writing since September? I hope so

Well my ex (Nikki) just came online, sat on my messenger a few seconds with no contact then went offline.

I knew her only a few months but I totally fell for Nikki, I fell hard. When I was with my girlfriend before her and things were bad I prayed for a girl like Nikki, then when she came along I was smitten...seemed she was getting that way too.

Then one day she told me she didn't want to talk to me, that she'd cheated on me and broke up with me. I was crushed. Never saw it coming...

The little or no contact after that has been a mixed blessing.

But now she comes online, when I think I'm coping, and I feel like I've been hit by a bus.

A really nice thing happend to me today. I don't like to use basic words like "nice" too often but this event really was the epitamy of the word.

I'd fallen asleep on the bus home with a young lady my age beside me. She was a total stranger and had ear phones in, music on, so I couldn't talk to her. So, I fall asleep and had really warm, comforting...contenting feelings throughout.

I woke to find the reason was that she had fallen asleep too and we were snuggled in together. It really was a special moment, being that close to someone I didn't even know...it felt like I knew her better than anyone and that she knew me.

When she awoke we seperated and didn't speak but with the glances either way it was obvious we both wanted to.

So, you may ask, why didn't I talk to this girl? Why did I get off the bus and wander away never to see her again? To be honest, I wanted that moment to remain with me forever as a special moment...and nothing breaks the fantasy better than reality.

Is it possible with each new venture we persue in life we lose sight of one we followed before?

As I sit "admiring" my photographic pieces here on deviantArt I can't help but think I have become less the poet, less the scribe, less the hack...less the literate thinker and more the visual thinker since I swapped pen for digicam.

I always thought photography would be easy. Just point and click. Never thought the inspiration or passion of writing was needed behind the lense. Of course, it is. But it comes so easily to me just now that I hardly have time to feel any comeupance for under estimating this medium of expression.

So, with this success, which comes without struggle, the question "why struggle with writing at all?" pops up. I'm feeling it difficult just to write out this journal entry actually. Yet, if I let go of my words and thoughts in paper form I'm afraid I'll lose them forever.

Perhaps I just need a new girlfriend to give me some angst to be poetic about?